I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
