have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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