Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
