I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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