The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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