he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
