I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
