Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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