Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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