How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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