and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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