Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
