He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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