Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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