All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
