hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
