K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize