I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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