She's JV to your varsity
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
