Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
