He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
