Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
