I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize