Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
