then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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