You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
