i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
