he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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