Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
they're like a gay fantastic four
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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