I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
