shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
