trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
