weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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