I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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