Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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