everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
