At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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