i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't deserve a penis
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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