grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
