Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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