vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
