Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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  (614): Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/x16d
  Replies (15) Good night (3399) Bad night (576)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

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  (917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute. http://tfl.nu/qqzp
  Replies (147) Good night (1675) Bad night (3934)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (9020) Bad night (899)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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  (219): Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal. http://tfl.nu/m4sr
  Replies (14) Good night (907) Bad night (5523)
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  (845): View more from New York

  They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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  (845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1209) Bad night (3685)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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  (724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee
  Replies (13) Good night (4607) Bad night (1553)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

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  (256): Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment http://tfl.nu/eim1
  Replies (20) Good night (2927) Bad night (1302)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?

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  (715): Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet? http://tfl.nu/ptcd
  Replies (14) Good night (3229) Bad night (1070)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.

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  (717): He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it. http://tfl.nu/0zar
  Replies (11) Good night (2773) Bad night (1183)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1713) Bad night (1106)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  C smoking isn't all bad

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  (678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda
  Replies (5) Good night (721) Bad night (928)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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  (202): Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox. http://tfl.nu/f55t
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (705)
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  (858): View more from California

  Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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  (858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx
  Replies (8) Good night (352) Bad night (932)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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  (304): It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry." http://tfl.nu/xw8s
  Replies (9) Good night (508) Bad night (965)
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  (530): View more from California

  Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa

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  (530): Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa http://tfl.nu/e36z
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (918)

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