trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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