Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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  (212): K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep http://tfl.nu/ltsv
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (1452)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.

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  (617): Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning. http://tfl.nu/86da
  Replies (5) Good night (3089) Bad night (654)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (997) Bad night (3508)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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  (912): She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious. http://tfl.nu/k9y8
  Replies (15) Good night (979) Bad night (4256)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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  (617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj
  Replies (50) Good night (4970) Bad night (1601)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

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  (518): it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone http://tfl.nu/gzqw
  Replies (13) Good night (4430) Bad night (793)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo

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  (208): The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo http://tfl.nu/5szi
  Replies (8) Good night (3441) Bad night (585)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot

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  (+44): Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot http://tfl.nu/c6sc
  Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (789)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (1884) Bad night (602)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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  (719): I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm. http://tfl.nu/n4fu
  Replies (13) Good night (1393) Bad night (1210)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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  (610): Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y192
  Replies (1) Good night (1449) Bad night (373)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....

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  (479): You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging.... http://tfl.nu/it7p
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (498)
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  (925): View more from California

  She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.

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  (925): She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking. http://tfl.nu/98oz
  Replies (4) Good night (222) Bad night (565)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy

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  (503): i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy http://tfl.nu/z4np
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (217)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.

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  (612): Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers. http://tfl.nu/iktn
  Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (177)

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