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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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• (714): View more from California

  He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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  27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.

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