Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

(951): View more from California

That's the thing about women.

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(707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z

Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (2551)
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(650): View more from California

the ice cream truck is coming omgomg

(1-650): View more from California

dude, it's 2 am.

(650): View more from California

but its COMING

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(650): the ice cream truck is coming omgomg (1-650): dude, it's 2 am. (650): but its COMING http://tfl.nu/8z5r

Replies (63) Good night (8466) Bad night (843)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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(215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha

Replies (23) Good night (1864) Bad night (5292)
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(443): View more from Maryland

hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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(443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1

Replies (23) Good night (1436) Bad night (5631)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures

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(304): Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures http://tfl.nu/pect

Replies (39) Good night (14840) Bad night (1313)
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(703): View more from Virginia

had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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(703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42

Replies (3) Good night (1671) Bad night (4041)
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(847): View more from Illinois

he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

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(847): he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak http://tfl.nu/y31q

Replies (18) Good night (1348) Bad night (5353)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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(570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv

Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (676)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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(306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq

Replies (22) Good night (1503) Bad night (764)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

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(715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx

Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (1463)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

So all in all, a good night.

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(717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215

Replies (0) Good night (1509) Bad night (570)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him

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(419): I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him http://tfl.nu/czew

Replies (5) Good night (1656) Bad night (644)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.

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(902): I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/cu8d

Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (963)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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(571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm

Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (403)
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(206): View more from Washington

I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.

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(206): I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt. http://tfl.nu/fjy2

Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (873)

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