Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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(440): View more from Ohio

My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

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(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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(619): View more from California

reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

(1-619): View more from California

sounds legit

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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(616): View more from Michigan

what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.

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(727): View more from Florida

Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.

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