And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.