i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.