Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
