So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
