remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
