just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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