Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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