can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
