I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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