I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
