i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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