before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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