I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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