She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
