Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
