Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.