Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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her body is proportioned like a family guy character
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.