there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud