So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.