So how was he last night?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself