Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
