there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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