I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
