Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I will be naked everywhere
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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