It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
